Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
I have been without the internet for the past two weeks, so please forgive my absence. I wanted to post the first good almost-complete image of my host family (excluding お父さん who took the picture).
(The woman on the right kneeling a little is actually another former exchange student). From right to left: Me, Yugo (brother, third son), first son and his wife, and お母さん in the front.
お父さん is adorable, yes? Very silly man. XD
First son, who's name is Maasaki, and his wife. They have a baby on the way!
At the moment, I confess I feel rather strange. The pervading sense of sadness that has always been with me has returned, and I feel something dark and heavy on my chest that sort of crawls up my throat and strangles for voice. I have never known what to call this feeling, only that I've learned to suppress it so much that I haven't thought about it. But these days, it creeps up slowly.
言い過ぎちゃったねぇ～
3 Comments:
The Trapeze Swinger...is just designed to make us cry. My favorite line MIGHT be:
But please, remember me, my misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
...:/ brb sobbing into my pillow.
I still love your outfit in you sans-otoosan-family-pic. Sup Nana? UH HUH. YOU HEARD ME. THE LEADER OF THE BLACK STONES IS ACTUALLY A PARTY RICAN.
Your writing reminded me of something from a certain piece of literature...
"It's not that he seeks out silence, in darkened places where the world shirks away from life and laughter, but it seems to [him] more and more, now, that silence seeks him out, and that sometimes it's better to be in the places where it doesn't matter if you feel deaf, heavy, ugly, useless. It's worse when it finds him in bed, or in class, where the words leave his mouth like a curse, and he can't find the answers that they want, because his tongue is drowned in emptiness."
This isn't really even relevant, but I had to get that association out of my head.
Anyway, we talked about this a little last night, but I'm not very good at relaying my thoughts in a clear way...but I hope that strange feeling goes away or hibernates for a while. Go listen to some Arashi!! Maybe that only works for me lol.
no internet for two weeks? oh man! i love the host family portrait..very nice.
This might seem very random, but i really like your outfit in that pic! :)
Aww don't be sad! *tackles and hugs* i kinda know what you mean though. *more hugs and some candy*
<3
